Reading comprehension

Reading comprehension
1. Before reading the jokes, tell your partner whether:
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you like jokes,
you are a sociable person or not,
telling jokes makes it easier to have a good time while in company.
2. Read the jokes and match the punch lines with the appropriate jokes:
a
b
c
d
e
It will disappear.
Mum, I’ll stop going to school.
On Sunday when the lady was still happier to see me off.
Why didn’t you run behind a taxi and save three shillings?
To make women come in and look in it.
Jokes
1.
Teacher: Can you tell me what will happen to gold when it lies uncovered in the open?
Pupil: …………………………………………………………………………………………………
2.
A customer: Why did you hang a mirror behind the counter?
A salesman: …………………………………………………………………………………………………
3.
Mother: Billy, we all have to save. Dad has stopped smoking. I have stopped eating sweets.
What will you save?
Billy: …………………………………………………………………………………………………
4.
Mr Smith: Have you done any good deed lately, Billy?
Billy: Even two, sir. The first one on Friday when I visited a lovely elderly lady who was very
happy to see me.
Mr Smith: And the second one?
Billy: …………………………………………………………………………………………………
5.
Son: Dad, I saved two pence today. I ran all the way to school behind the school bus.
Father: …………………………………………………………………………………………………
3. Find mistakes in the following sentences and correct them.
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2
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That’s the child who’s father is a well-known journalist.
I’d like to see the photos what you’ve taken.
This is Susan which is the most beautiful girl in our class.
The skirt when you are wearing is too short.
Tom who plays the guitar is a member of our band.
Let’s go to the café when we used to go years ago.
She loves dancing, that’s is why she goes to a disco every weekend.
My grandmother, who’s stories I could listen to for hours, was the dearest person to me.
4. Re-write as one sentence using the correct relative pronoun.
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Charles Dickens wrote Great Expectations. He is my favourite writer.
Charles Dickens ..............................................................................................................................
2
Princess Diana was loved by people all over the world. Her life was unhappy and short.
Princess Diana ................................................................................................................................
3
Frank Trump lives next door. He’s one of the best detectives in our city.
Frank Trump ..................................................................................................................................
4
I haven’t had my breakfast yet. I’m very hungry.
I haven’t ........................................................................................................................................
5
I’d like to show you our new stadium. This summer athletic competitions are going to take place there.
I’d like ............................................................................................................................................
6
You haven’t done the shopping. There is nothing to eat at home.
You haven’t ....................................................................................................................................
7
I borrowed a book last week. It’s very interesting.
The book ......................................................................................................................................
Writing
Describe a situation in which a sense of humour helped you put up with it.
Use 100 – 120 words.
Matura Practice
1. Twoja kole˝anka, która jest Angielkà, jest bardzo smutna.
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Zapytaj, co si´ sta∏o.
Poradê jej, ˝eby obejrza∏a Êwietnà komedi´ w telewizji.
Upewnij si´, ˝e czuje si´ ju˝ lepiej.
2. JesteÊ ze swoimi zagranicznymi przyjació∏mi w kawiarni.
Opowiadacie najÊmieszniejsze przygody, jakie si´ wam przydarzy∏y. Opowiedz:
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kiedy tobie coÊ takiego si´ przydarzy∏o;
o co chodzi∏o w tej historii;
jakie konsekwencje mia∏o to wydarzenie.
3. Twój nieÊmia∏y australijski znajomy opowiedzia∏ ci ostatnio ˝art,
który bardzo ci´ rozbawi∏. Na spotkaniu ze wspólnymi znajomymi:
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poproÊ o powtórzenie tego dowcipu;
przekonaj go, ˝e nie bardzo pami´tasz szczegó∏y;
zgódê si´ z jego pomocà opowiedzieç dowcip.
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